From my box. Some stories sha .

I said let me update the house, i am the one that posted in December last year about d0mestic vawulence and everyone insulttted me. They said i should leave . Why i did not leave earlier is because my family said is going to dent their image so i should stay there. But i have left and today I feel like if I don’t write and give update i will be hurtt too much . I got married in 2021 with hope and prayers, after dating for two years without a single sign of what was coming, and it was only after marriage that I realized I married someone completely different from the person I knew. The first time he be*t me, I kept asking myself what I did wrong, because all I did was cook food he didn’t like, and from that day the vawulence became normal even while I was pregnant. I cried, I called my parents, and I was told to endure and stay, so I stayed because I didn’t know what else to do. When I went into labor with my first child, I called my husband and he didn’t answer because he was with another woman, and I gave birth alone until a friend helped me pay my hospital bills. I endured again, came back to the house because my mum Is cwo president and her child can not fail in marriage .
When i returned back he started making luv to me again because if i say no no food for me and i was breafeeding. I got pregnant again and he was beattting me with his younger brother.

I was shouting andbegging them. I said if you can not show me mercy show your child i am carrying mercy.
Why were they doing that ? I got to his store and met his side chick and confronted her. That was all, and one day I ran out of the house with my children because I knew I would not survive if I stayed. I returned to my family house believing it would be safe, but it was not, and I learned that sometimes the place you run to for refuge is also full of painn. I have known hunger, sickness without money, and fear that never sleeps, I have watched my children suffer while I stay quiet and strong, I have been told my suffering is my luck and that I should go back to painn so others can look respectable. Today I am tired, tired of asking what I did to deserve this life, tired of being gentle and still punished, tired of being strong when I am empty. There are days I don’t eat, days my children don’t eat, days I choose between food and medicine, days I apply for jobs with shaking hands and faith that feels very small. I am writing because silence is keeling me.
I am doubting myself so much today, who created me? Why is my story like this ?
Ok why can’t God just exempt mothers from suffering even for the sake of their children?
Husband house I faced issues, here issues too
My younger brother even raised his handz at me. My mum said i deserve it .
Since on Thursday now, my kids have not eaten anything tangible, I haven’t even eaten anything at all, ulcer is disturbing me, back pain and all
Please I am in uyo if anyone have a job for me please help me. My baby is 8 months now, a job that can allow me go with baby. Also beg God for me, I am tired and thinking to do somethings I pray he forgives me if I do it because he doesn’t want to help . I am very tired already .